@aliceinworryland

The cold, the finances, the dark nights, the dark mornings.The general aftermath of December which tends to be such a busy, hectic and joyous time, can often leave you feeling a bit lost. A bit low. A bit fed up and just a bit shit. There's a tendency to rush, to plan, to book that holiday - to decorate that room - to join that gym - to lose that weight - whatever it is you feel you 'should' be doing - you shouldn't. Eat that cake, leave that room, by all means book that holiday - but there's no rush. No panic. January is just another month. February will be here in just one day and while I'm glad to see the back of January, I'm also aware that it's one month I won't get back. As hard as it is, let's try living for the day and really try to just BE in the moment, in the day and in the present. As really, that's all we are guaranteed. 😍 #blogger #january #allwehaveisnow #mindfullness #hereandnow #mentalhealth #anxiety #motherhoodunplugged #

I could write so much about my own experiences of having intrusive thoughts and about how they've prevented me from doing so many things over the past 15 years. Girly weekends away? No, my Husband might have an accident and die. Spa break? No, just incase something happens to one of my children. Time to move my baby into her own room? No way, what if she stops breathing and I don't hear her. Honeymoon? Yes, but only a day or two and not too far, just incase. Friend's birthday? No, I haven't seen them in such a while, i might have a panic attack and they won't get it or understand. Work promotion? No, what if people think I'm silly for applying, or that I'm not good enough? New hairstyle? No, people will hate it. Now, imagine - if we were able to switch the negative and intrusive into a happy and positive... Girly weekends away? Hell yes! I deserve it. Spa Break? Erm, absolutely - about time my Husband and I had a break. Moving baby into own room? Oooo ho

Having lost myself at some point between the pregancy of my first and maternity leave with my second, what started as baby blues and tiredness seemed to snowball into Post Natal Depression, Post Natal Anxiety and a constant invasion of deeply unwanted, and intrusive thoughts. Although I had experienced anxiety prior to having my two children, nothing prepared me for PND. I felt numb and on some days hollow. There were times, on particularly tough days, that I felt utterly empty. My Husband recalls me having a constant vacant look in my eyes and without me realising, the person I was 'pre kids' had completely disappeared. I had no idea how to be me (the person screaming inside) and raise and be responsible for two children. The things I had once loved to do : running, socialising, reading, watching live music, (I could go on) now felt like a chore, felt like something I should be doing rather than wanting to do and it all felt like another opportunity for the