@aliceinworryland

What is our truth? We have become so accustomed to society sending subliminal messages and influencing our decisions that, for many of us, they go against what our real inner truth is.  Decisions we would ordinarily make easily become difficult, it becomes a game of second guessing and then we are left wondering and obsessing if we made the right one. This applies to everyone and not just parents.  We are so overwhelmed with images of the 'picture perfect' life that the decisions we make can often be made as a result of what we feel we 'should' be doing as opposed to what we really want to be doing. This continuous comparison of what you see and what feel you should (a) be doing, (b) be feeling, or (c) look like, can often have a negative impact on your emotional well - being. On a conscious level,  we know that this isn't 'real life' and that it's only a snapshot, a poisoned chalice of the truth behind the screen, yet we scroll and subconsciou...

Simply the breast. For me, breast feeding was awful. There, I said it. I knew that I wanted to breast feed, but I always worried I would struggle. I would struggle with not knowing how many ounces they had taken, if they were full, if they were satisfied, if they were really getting any. I was told you'd know in a week if they were feeding as if not, they'd lose weight. For me, this was too scary, too stressful and I felt too overwhelmed with fear that I would get it wrong. It was out of my control and, when my life felt upside down, me knowing exactly how much she had taken was the control I needed in order to function. I was very lucky, I had a solid support circle around me, a mixture of some that had bottle fed and some who had breast fed - so I can't blame me feeling forced into it on any external pressure; it was all me. I wanted both my girls to latch on and be fulfilled with what I could give them, I wanted to do what nature had designed my body to do. Or ...

Unhelpful and harmful. Phrases, such as: • just snap out of it •you're being daft • you'll feel better once you're out •stop analysing •stop stressing about nothing •get a grip •you're crazy •come on just get up ☝️ are all phrases that can be harmful and unhelpful. I'm a self confessed  'overthinker' and, at times, can still find myself falling down the analytical rabbit hole, with no real sense of where I'm going or how to get back. But I've found it much easier to climb back out  when I've been shown patience, kindness and reassurance. Sometimes, it's about listening, not advising. Asking, not telling.  Reassuring, not chastising and simply acknowledging that, while you might not completely understand or even agree with the worry, concern or anxiety, it's extremely difficult to just 'snap' out of it. A lot of the time it's not an answer that is needed or helps: it's a hug, kind words, a reassuring s...

The cold, the finances, the dark nights, the dark mornings.The general aftermath of December which tends to be such a busy, hectic and joyous time, can often leave you feeling a bit lost. A bit low. A bit fed up and just a bit shit. There's a tendency to rush, to plan, to book that holiday - to decorate that room - to join that gym - to lose that weight - whatever it is you feel you 'should' be doing - you shouldn't. Eat that cake, leave that room, by all means book that holiday - but there's no rush. No panic. January is just another month. February will be here in just one day and while I'm glad to see the back of January, I'm also aware that it's one month I won't get back. As hard as it is, let's try living for the day and really try to just BE in the moment, in the day and in the present. As really, that's all we are guaranteed. 😍 #blogger #january #allwehaveisnow #mindfullness #hereandnow #mentalhealth #anxiety #motherhood...

I could write so much about my own experiences of having intrusive thoughts and about how they've prevented me from doing so many things over the past 15 years. Girly weekends away? No, my Husband might have an accident and die. Spa break? No, just incase something happens to one of my children. Time to move my baby into her own room? No way, what if she stops breathing and I don't hear her. Honeymoon? Yes, but only a day or two and not too far, just incase. Friend's birthday? No, I haven't seen them in such a while, i might have a panic attack and they won't get it or understand. Work promotion? No, what if people think I'm silly for applying, or that I'm not good enough? New hairstyle? No, people will hate it. Now, imagine - if we were able to switch the negative and intrusive into a happy and positive... Girly weekends away? Hell yes! I deserve it. Spa Break? Erm, absolutely - about time my Husband and I had a break. Moving baby into own room? Oooo ho...

Having lost myself at some point between the pregancy of my first and maternity leave with my second, what started as baby blues and tiredness seemed to snowball into Post Natal Depression, Post Natal Anxiety and a constant invasion of deeply unwanted, and intrusive thoughts. Although I had experienced anxiety prior to having my two children, nothing prepared me for PND. I felt numb and on some days hollow. There were times, on particularly tough days, that I felt utterly empty. My Husband recalls me having a constant vacant look in my eyes and without me realising, the person I was 'pre kids' had completely disappeared. I had no idea how to be me (the person screaming inside) and raise and be responsible for two children. The things I had once loved to do : running, socialising, reading, watching live music, (I could go on) now felt like a chore, felt like something I should be doing rather than wanting to do and it all felt like another opportunity for the ...